011- She Does Too Much: Boundaries & Balance During Perimenopause

Feeling like a superwoman stretched too thin?
Discover how setting boundaries can transform your life, especially during the challenging perimenopause phase.

Key takeaways:
1. Saying no and why it's crucial for your emotional and physical well-being.
2. Insights from a Vital Smarts survey that reveals why many of us struggle with over commitment.
3. Practical tips to manage your time effectively.

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Disclaimer:  I am not a medical doctor. The information and recommendations provided during our coaching sessions are intended to support your overall health and wellness and are not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment. Always consult with your physician before making any changes to your medication, treatment plan, or if you have any concerns about your health. 

Transcript

Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Well-Being

Speaker 1 2:28

What's up? Smash the Crash fam. Here we are back again smashing another weekly episode of the podcast. Today we're talking about feeling like a superwoman who's constantly stretched thin. Perimenopause can worsen your to-do list burden. Let's talk about some boundaries which are essential, and practical tips for saying no more often.

Speaker 1 2:57

It's time to take that emotional and physical toll of overcommitment during perimenopause and setting boundaries with our work, family and other social obligations. So are you feeling like you're constantly on the go, juggling a million responsibilities? I think we all can answer 100% yes to this. But during perimenopause, that feeling of being stretched thin can become overwhelming. With the hot flashes, the fatigue, the brain fog can make even the simplest task feel like we're climbing Mount Everest. So today we're diving in the importance of boundaries and practical tips for saying no more often, because during perimenopause, prioritizing your well-being is not selfish, it's essential. So let's talk about the impact of over commitment. You have to do it all can take a toll on your emotional and physical health, your stress levels. You can feel them rising, you can feel that anxiety, you can feel that irritability, and you're in perimenopause, so you're feeling these things already. Compiling that all together, you find yourself neglecting sleep, eating habits, exercise and all those things are crucial for managing your well-being during this transition period. I found this very interesting.

Speaker 1 4:31

I found a PR Newswire article that broke down a survey conducted by researchers at VitalSmarts about overcommitment. The study surveyed 1,300 plus people, and three out of five of these people three out of every five people reported to have agreed to accomplish more than they can actually do in the time that they have available, and another one in five reported that they reached their limit and can't commit to any more. So, according to these respondents, the top five reasons people attribute for their overgrown to-do list includes the following things 73% said they're because of the desire to be helpful, accommodating and polite. 56% had a tendency to jump in and fix problems even when they weren't theirs. 39% said there was ambiguous limits and unclear rules about which tasks to accept or reject. 38% said working with those in authority who make non-negotiable demands I think we've all been there and 32% had an inability to say no or renegotiate commitments. So this PR Newswire article was actually written in January 2019. So I find that extremely interesting because you know that was right before the pandemic hit, and so, while I truly feel, at least in my personal life that the pandemic provided the ability for me to slow down.

Speaker 1 6:09

I'm not here to debate the pandemic. Let's be honest. No one wants to go back to that time. We are well beyond that, but being able to take a good look at what's important made it a little easier for me and my family to say no to things as the nation started opening back up. We keep our afterschool commitments pretty minimal. Our kids are only in karate and they're in the school band, so we have two things for each of them that we're committed to throughout the week and anything else we take on or we want to consider taking on. We take a deep look at what those commitment requirements are together and then decide if that's something that we want to add to our schedule or not.

Speaker 1 6:50

So, thinking about your schedule, the items you have to do, working your day job, running your business, school requirements for the kids, and then look at the extracurriculars on the schedule, let's compare the two. Is it just busy work or does it actually fill your cup? Does it fill your kids cup? What are your priorities? What are not so much your priorities? You can reclaim your balance and energy by setting boundaries. Boundaries are healthy limits you establish to protect your time, your energy and your emotional well-being. Think of them as invisible fences around the things that truly are the priority. You can listen more to episode six to learn more about the magic of saying no. So let's get into some micro changes for setting boundaries to your schedule, on what is important to you and what's not.

Speaker 1 7:51

So number one time management techniques. First, take stock at your current commitments. Make a list of everything that you're responsible for, both at work and at home. Be honest with yourself about what's realistic and what might need to be delegated or, honestly, simply eliminated. Two delegation. Don't be afraid to delegate. Can your partner help more with the chores? Can you outsource some errands or hire help with cleaning? Delegation doesn't mean you're weak. It just means that you're smart and resourceful. Three visual schedule.

Embracing Self-Care for Balance

Speaker 1 8:28

So how do you track your schedule for yourself and your family? Who has access to it? So about 10 years ago I honestly don't remember when, but I think it was 10 years we took a big leap and we ditched our paper calendar. My husband rarely looked at it, never truly knew what was going on, and we weren't always on the same page about what was planned and written down and what was planned and not written down. So we switched to the app called Cozi that's C-O-Z-I. It honestly has been a game changer for us. We always have our phones within reach and if either of us has an update that we need to make on the calendar, or if maybe we're talking with friends and they're like, hey, what are you doing on such it updates in real time. So there's no excuses for either of us to inadvertently plan something that conflicts with something on the calendar because, quote unquote, did you look at the calendar? If it's in the calendar, it's set in stone and, in addition to the calendar, it does offer ability to make lists. Lists like shopping lists. You can search for recipes and if you have the upgraded version, I think you can even add in birthday reminders. So again, this has been a game changer for us and you can add additional family members to the app to be able to view it and make changes as well. So I'm adding a link to Cozy in the show notes here. Check it out and give it a try, and even if your kids with phones can have access to it and be able to add to the calendar you choose. But that's possible, all right.

Speaker 1 10:05

Number four saying no politely but firmly. Again, we went over this in episode six, so please go ahead and go back to episode six to take a listen to this. This might be one of the toughest things, but also one of the most important Practice saying no politely but firmly. Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, at least with having to say no at first, but trust me, it does get easier with practice. Believe in pure honesty. I'll flat out tell my friends why I'm saying no and I feel good about that because I'm being honest and they know I'm being honest. Okay, we've set some boundaries.

Speaker 1 10:46

Now, with those boundaries in place, we are allotting some time for ourselves to add in intentional movement and nutrition choices. So let's think about your body as a car. You're constantly running on fumes. It's going to be harder to handle stress and complete tasks effectively and efficiently. So movement and good nutrition are like putting high octane fuel in your tank. Is your check engine light on? How long have you been ignoring it for? We need to aim for at least 20 to 30 minutes of intentional movement most days of the week.

Speaker 1 11:25

This does not have to be a punishment of going to the gym, simply brisk walking, turning on some music and dancing around in your house, swimming or even outside doing yard work, gardening, are all excellent options. Who has watched Grey's Anatomy? I actually stopped watching it I think two seasons, three seasons ago, but I was an avid Grey's Anatomy watcher and I love it when Mare and Christina would turn on their music and they would dance it out. That is a perfect example on how you can get more movement in on your day with music and dancing it out. Dance like nobody's watching.

Speaker 1 12:08

And with nutrition. Focus on eating whole, unprocessed foods. Fruits, vegetables, lean protein, whole grains provide your body with essential nutrients it needs to function optimally. Don't be skipping meals and make sure you're staying hydrated throughout the day. So here are some easy micro habit changes you can incorporate to add movement to your day. Take the stairs instead of the elevator Park further away from your destination and walk. Pack a healthy lunch instead of relying on takeout. Snack on fruits and vegetables instead of processed foods. Start your day with a glass of water to boost your hydration. Remember, small changes add up. By setting boundaries, prioritizing movement and nutrition, you'll be well on your way to feeling more balanced and energized during perimenopause. So let's recap You're doing too much.

Speaker 1 13:11

Take some time this week to look at your schedule. Where are you over committed? Is everyone in your family on the same page as far as the schedule? Who needs access to the calendar? Can you look at a scheduling app for better management on the schedule? Give Cozy App a try. With management of your schedule, you can input intentional movement for yourself. It doesn't have to be some big time suck. You can find 20 minutes each day for yourself. Look ahead. Look at tomorrow and the following days. You can commit to 20 minutes. So take a deep breath. My smash fam. You are not obligated to do it all. If you need someone to blame as a reason to why you're saying no to something, blame it on me. Tell them that your health coach, melissa, said so. Setting boundaries is a sign of strength and not weakness. By taking care of yourself, you'll be much better equipped to handle what life throws your way and to take care of those who are most important to you.